Bella, Beastward, and Baby
by Zhivago3
Summary: Follow-up story to "Bella and the Beastward." As their life finally settles, an unexpected pregnancy rocks the boat. Exactly who is ready for the change ahead of them and who isn't, though? Rated M for lemons, language, and themes.
1. Chapter 1

**And here it is, part two, "Bella, Beastward, and Baby." Listen, I know that the whole baby-thing is kind of cliche by now, but really, don't you want to see these two preggers and with a kid? Lord, I do! Since I've already sketched an outline for this story, I can let you know that some hilarity and hijinx will ensue. That being said, this isn't a comedy. **

**I also want to let you know that I started a new job in PR recently and while it's nice and quiet now, that won't ****last. So I am going to try my _absolute hardest_ to update weekly, but I hope you'll understand when it doesn't always happen.**

**I have two wonderful people helping with this fic: HollettLA and DeJeanSmith. Take a bow, ladies. Only two chapters in and already they have been incredible. So thank you in advance for all the miserable gramtaical issues and insecurities. **

**Without further ado:**

**I don't own, I just play.**

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

The pain was shocking...blindingly so. As I screamed, my knees gave out and I fell to the ground with a horrifying thud. The skin on my right knee split open and began bleeding. A brilliant splash of red trickled down my leg and began dripping onto the parquet floor.

I gripped at my stomach.

I felt the pain of a phantom knife digging into my side. It was excruciating and there wasn't a single thing I could do about it.

I felt paralyzed and for the first time since I found out I was pregnant, I panicked for my unborn child. The child I didn't even know if I wanted.

Good Lord, what would I do if I lost it?

How could I handle _almost _being a mother? The almost was the worse part. To have made it this far in spite of the doubts and fear, only to never actually hold the baby, hear it cry or laugh?

As I began shivering from fear, things became fuzzy and gray.

_No_, I thought. _NO! _Let me live! Let this child live! I want...

But as a familiar pair of hands reached for me, the world went cold and dark.

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><p><strong>AN**

**I know this prologue was crazy short, but I already have chapter 2 and will post it very soon. I'm waiting for some magical inspiration-fairy to visit me to help with chapter 3, though. You know what would help with that? COMMENTS AND REVIEWS! I know there isn't much to comment on yet, but remember, I need some gentle kicks-in-the-ass to finish chapter 3. **


	2. Chapter 2: Bella, Beastward, and Baby

**I am BLOWN AWAY! Guys I was inundated with story alerts, fav story adds, and author alerts. Seriously! Pages and pages of notices in my inbox from you guys. Blown away. And did I mention how humbled I am that my silly little, (very little), prologue got such a response from everyone? Oh my god - I am so in love with all my readers right now. Thank you!**

**HollettLA and DeJeanSmith read and corrected this and I heart them big time. **

**I don't own, I just play. **

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><p><strong><span>Chapter 2, Bella, Beastward, and Baby<span>**

**BPOV**

As I sat in the bathroom staring at the obnoxiously pink plastic stick in my hand, I was furious. There were so many reasons why. Perhaps the first and most disturbing was that I was utterly aware that I should have been ecstatic. I should have been jumping up and down and running to Edward's office to blab the good news. I should have been flush with the possibilities of the life growing inside of me...instead I was furious.

When I dared to think of my future, it was never painted in these colors. In fact, my life seemed colorless before the whirlwind of tattoos, angry pink scars, and blue hair. But even since the advent of color in my life, baby-powder-white had never factored in. I was too scared to be a mother.

What if my body chemistry was just waiting for a child before it turned on me? What if I became a closeted depressive like my mother? What if I squirreled away my madness for those quiet moments all alone? What if it was my own birth that caused my mother's death? It all sounded insane, even to me. Regardless, I wasn't willing to risk leaving my own child the way my mother had left me.

That was it. Final decision.

"Bella?"

My pulse quickened.

"Bella, you okay? You've been in there for close to a half hour."

Could I tell him?

"Bella, answer me, please."

His pleading was tempting, but I simply didn't know what to say.

"Fuck, beautiful. Just let me know you're okay and I'll leave you alone."

Would Edward want this? Would he bristle and hide, or would he be happy? What if he wanted this? What would I do? Would I acquiesce?

"Bella! Come on, baby. Don't make me break down this door."

I thought about the love he gave me, the bravery he showed in spite of everything. I thought about all the things his accident had denied him. Finally, I thought that if he wanted it, I would do it. For him. As long as he understood that I was terrified. Also, I could make no promises that I would be a good mother.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

"One..."

No promises.

"Two..."

Did I really think I had it in me to terminate my pregnancy?

"BELLA!"

Another tear fell.

"THREE!"

I stood up, walked to the door and unlocked it in a trance. I could hear Edward let out a large shaky breath. As the door opened slowly, carefully, he inched his body into the bathroom, seemingly afraid of what he might find. There I was, standing behind the door, tears coming down my face, a little pink stick in my hands. I don't think that was what he was expecting.

"Bella? Baby, can you talk to me?"

_No, I can't,_ I thought. Instead, I stuck my arm out, barely pinching the pink stick between my fingers as some sort of odd offering.

Edward closed the bathroom door, took the stick from me and looked down. There were two little blue lines in a small white window. Somewhere in the back of his mind a commercial that he'd never had a reason to pay attention to must have registered. I could tell the exact moment when he understood what he was holding.

"Is two lines pregnant or not pregnant?"

I lifted my head to look at him. I don't think he knew why I was crying.

"Pregnant."

After his accident, Edward never expected to speak to another woman ever again. He was hideous, or so he thought. He was also angry and mean. He was deprived of his future and became and secretive. He never thought someone could learn to love the beast.

All his words, not mine.

He certainly never thought he would find the love of his life. What the hell was he thinking now? Was he happy that everything he thought would be denied him was becoming a reality? I had no way of knowing and he wasn't giving me any clues, either.

"Pregnant," he said, letting the word roll over his tongue.

He just stood there, staring at that damn stick. The silence seemed to go on forever. I had no fucking clue what he was thinking. It was maddening. I had to break the silence, somehow.

"We can discuss alternatives, Edward." I said evenly, not sure if he was happy about my little reveal or not.

"Alternatives?" he asked, confused.

"Yes. There are options," I assured him.

Maybe he didn't want the child, either? Was it wrong to hope that?

"Idiot," he spat.

_WHO? _Who was an idiot? The suspense of not knowing how he felt was eating away at me.

"Bella, no. I'm...I don't even know what to say or do."

Another tear fell, this time out of frustration.

"Bella, I want this with you so badly. I just never thought it was even a possibility! I..." Something dawned on him.

"Oh my God! I'm going to be a daddy!"

His crooked half-smile was blinding. He dropped the stick to the floor, pulled me into his arms, lifted me up, and twirled me.

Happy it was, then. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Shit, I wasn't sure what I was feeling about anything, except suddenly I was incredibly nauseous.

"Stop! Stop!"

He quickly placed me carefully back on the ground. The second the world stopped spinning, I took a deep breath trying to calm my nerves and my stomach.

"You okay? Shit, did I make you dizzy? What do you need? Just tell me."

So, I thought as I swallowed down the urge to vomit, he's happy. What does that make me?

"I think the next step is going to the doctor, right?" I asked, bewildered.

"Of course! I'll have Katie make the appointment today."

"That's great, thanks," I said as happily as I could... Edward wasn't buying it.

"Hey."

Edward tilted my chin toward his face, but I couldn't look at him just yet.

"Bella, look at me, please."

Reluctantly, I looked into his happy, yet concerned face.

"You okay, beautiful?"

"Sure," I said, giving the worst performance ever.

"Bella, this is a good, right? You want this, don't you?"

I didn't really know, but he did, that much was perfectly clear. For him. For him I'd try to be happy and swallow my fears.

"As long you as you know how scared I am."

"Bella..." he said, sympathetically.

"And as long as you know that I might be a terrible mother." I added, losing it completely.

"No, Bella, no. You're going to be incredible. Come here," he said as he gathered me in his big arms once again. "I think I know why you're so worried, beautiful. But you're not her. You are not Renee."

As he rocked me back and forth, I couldn't help but hope he was right.

"Tell me the truth, okay?" he asked.

I nodded into his chest.

"Do you want this? Because I won't push you. If you don't or if you're not ready yet..." But he couldn't even finish the sentence.

I didn't need to see him to know the expression on his face just then. It was anguish and I couldn't let him feel that way. I would always regret the way we hurt each other in the past. I wouldn't let this be another mistake. I could make this right. I could do this. And doing it for him seemed as good of a reason as any.

"Just make sure you hold my hand through it all, okay?" I made him promise.

I could feel the relief in his body.

"Like you had to ask, beautiful."

The following day, we arrived at Doctor Phillips' office...after hours. A simple blood test was all it took to confirm what I already knew.

"Do you have an OB/GYN?" Doctor Phillips asked me.

"Not really."

"Then I'm recommending you to my wife. She's actually in the same building, fifth floor. I know she's not there right now, but I'll let her know to expect your call."

"Thank you Doctor Phillips," Edward said, shaking his hand. I followed suit and we left hand-in-hand.

Once in the car, I leaned against Edward trying to absorb some of his calm and hope. A few blocks from home, the nausea came again. My stomach rolled.

"Bella, there's something I want to discuss with you now."

He sounded serious, but I was too busy focusing on trying not to vomit to really pay close attention.

"I know that you've said no in the past, but now that there are children involved..."

The car finally stopped and the door was opened for me. I carefully scooted out and walked to the door where the elevator was waiting for us.

"As I was saying..."

The sudden jerk of the elevator made things twenty times worse, it was a race against time. I need the bathroom and quickly.

"...I'm thinking about our child and the kind of life and family I want to give him or her, and I just think..."

Thankfully, the elevator stopped. As I rushed to the door, I pulled out my keys. Edward was obviously too wrapped up in whatever it was he was trying to say to notice my desperation to get inside.

"...Bella, beautiful..."

I finally got the door open, threw my bag to the ground and ran to the closest bathroom. As I ran from Edward, I thought I heard him say something about marriage. But that couldn't be right because I had already told him how I felt about that. On my knees, seven-something at night, head in the toilet, vomiting up everything I had eaten that day, the only thought going through my mind was, _why the hell do they call it morning sickness?_

**EPOV**

"Bella, beautiful, I think we should talk about marriage again..." But it was too late. Bella was running toward the bathroom, her hand covering her mouth.

"I thought it was called _morning_ sickness?" I said to no one as I listened to her footsteps running away from me.

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><p><strong>AN**

**Told you I'd update soon! **

**Next chapter, Jake, the girls, and our favorite heroine... Lydia. **

**Reviews are better than morning sickness. Then again, I assume most things are. **


	3. Chapter 3: Pickle Soup

**Once again, I am utterly overwhelmed by your response! There were so many reviews that I couldn't answer them... I promise I read every single one though. Also? All of your author and story adds were incredible. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!**

**Now the reason this is a little late is because I've been on vacation this week so I was a little lax with the writing... sorry. **

**Major thanks to DeJeanSmith who took time away from house guests for this chapter. And, thank you to HollettLA who took the time to teach me the proper way to spell psychiatrist. Apparently I like to spell it so badly that spell check doesn't even bother to scan it. Huh, go fig!**

**I don't own, I just play.****  
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><p><strong><strong>Chapter 3, Pickle Soup<strong>**

**BPOV**

The very second I refused a drink, they'd know. There was no way around it. I figured I had from the time I sat down to the time our waiter arrived to steel myself for their assault. I was hoping I'd be there first, but when I saw Jake sitting at our table, iPhone in hand, typing away, I had to change my plan. I was banking on a few minutes where I could psych myself up, give myself a pep-talk or something... but the universe had other ideas.

I raised my head, threw my shoulders back, and walked toward Jake with my best I'm-the-shit-and-I-know-it walk. It didn't work. It really, really didn't work.

"Uh-uh, Ms. Thing. I ain't buying that shit. You better sit down and tell me what's wrong before I bribe it out of you."

I tried to keep it together, I really did. I thought the tears were finished. I thought I was all cried out. But as soon as my ass dropped into the chair, the first tear came. By the time I had put my bag on the floor, they couldn't be stopped. Jake's entire aura changed. He went from sassy to motherly in a blink of an eye. _Great_, I thought, _even my gay bestie is more maternal that I am_. Of course, that only made me cry harder.

"Oh, Bells, come here, sugar."

As Jake pulled me into his arms, I was puddle of tears and snot again for the millionth time. Of course, this time I didn't have to hide or turn on the bathroom faucet to hide my turmoil. I hated hiding my fears from Edward, but he was so blissed-out recently that I didn't have the heart to rain on his parade. With Jake, all I had to do was let him hold me. There was no guilt, no fear, just his arms and his welcoming warmth to soothe me. When I felt two more sets of arms wrap around me, I melted and let my friends squeeze.

"Why are we hugging it out?" asked Rose, confused.

"I don't know, bb, but Bells needed it whatever the reason," Jake said simply.

It didn't matter to them why I was crying. They were there for me nonetheless. It was a peaceful thought. Eventually, I let my tears dry up and took my time reveling in their ignorance. I was sure once they knew there would be rounds of "W_hy are you crying_? _Why aren't you happy_?" But just then, the silent embrace was all I wanted.

I felt their arms come away in layers. Soon enough, I was blowing my nose, wiping my face, and sitting upright on my own steam. Three sets of concerned eyes met mine. Breaking the awkwardness, the waiter stopped by asking for our drink order.

"Well, I think we're all in need of some alcohol. Four lychee belinis please!" Rose ordered happily.

And then the moment I was dreading came. Just as the waiter was leaving, I cleared my throat and had to speak up.

"Actually, umm..."

"Yes?" the waiter asked, smiling.

"Make it three bellinis and one ginger ale, please."

He nodded and walked away. I kept my eyes away from my circle of friends for as long as I could before I finally looked. Yup, just as I thought. They were all looking at me, and they all knew exactly what was going on.

"You going to start talking or should we?" asked Rose, ever the go-getter.

"I'm pregnant. I only found out a few days ago. I missed my period and I took a pregnancy test. Edward found me in the bathroom crying over the damn thing and took me to the doctor. It's official, we're having a baby," I said unenthusiastically.

There was a painful silence. Thankfully, the drinks arrived. I took several long sips of my soda trying to distract myself before Jake said something.

"Bella, and sugar, there's no judging here, but why aren't you happier about this?"

They didn't know. They couldn't know because I had never told them. I never told them about my mother. I never told them that I ran from home trying to escape her memory. The only people in the whole word who knew were Charlie, Sue, and Edward. It was in that moment that I realized I had to tell them everything. If for no other reason than I'd need them in the coming months. I had Edward, of course, but he wouldn't be enough. I'd need Jake's inappropriate jokes and wonderful hugs. I'd need Rose's straightforwardness and fire. And I'd definitely need Alice's endless enthusiasm and joy.

There was no good way to start the conversation so I dove in.

"I moved here because my mother committed suicide when I was 22. None of us knew she was depressed. It was a shock and it ruined me. I ran away and came to New York. I hadn't gone back to Santa Fe until Edward took me."

There was an expected silence as everything I said sank in. When the silence stretched longer than I thought it would, I got worried.

"I'm sorry I never told you guys. I never planned on anyone knowing, really. Edward just... well Edward saw the pain in me. I guess he recognized it."

"Bella, we're not angry with you." Rose piped in first. "I think we're just digesting it, but also? God, I wish you had told us earlier. We could have helped somehow, I just know it."

"I know. Well anyway, I know that now. That's why I had to tell you guys, so that you'd understand."

"Understand what?" Jake, asked.

"Why I'm so anxious."

"Anxious about what?" Alice asked.

"I'm nervous about becoming a mom, guys. It's not something I ever saw for myself. I never wanted this. I'm not sure I want this now, actually."

"Does Edward know all this?" Alice continued.

"Yeah. We went to the doctor together; we discussed everything. The bottom line is, I can't say no to him. If you were there, if you saw his face when he found out he was going to be a father… I can't take that away from him."

"Bella, you're more important to him than anything. If you really don't want this, you have to be honest with him."

"I want this; I just want this for him. Does that make sense?"

"Bella, this isn't like buying a car you don't want. This is forever. This is a kid, for Christ's sake!" Rose stated, heatedly.

"Don't you think I fucking know that, Rose? Shit, I've been crying myself to sleep every night terrified that I'm making the wrong fucking decision." I seethed. "I don't need more goddamn doubt from you three, I need some fucking reassurance. SHIT!" I yelled a little more loudly than I wanted to.

I stood up so quickly, I knocked over the ginger ale. As I watched it drip onto my suede purse, the tears came again. The old adage about spilled milk had met its adversary in a pregnant woman's hormones.

"Okay, okay, let's just everyone calm down, here," Jake said, pulling my bag away from the dripping soda. "Bella, sit down, please."

"I need the bathroom," I said miserably, through my tears.

As I walked to the ladies room, I unraveled even further. The enormity of the situation hadn't lessened. I sat on the toilet, crying. I got up and walked to the sink still crying. A sympathetic woman washing her hands asked me if I was all right. I nodded and told her I was pregnant.

"The hormones are a bitch, it gets easier, though, promise. Is there someone I can get for you?"

She asked, compassionately. I thanked her, but told her my friends were waiting for me outside. She nodded and dried her hands before leaving me blessedly alone. I looked at my puffy, red, tired face in the mirror. It did jack shit for my confidence, and then I started crying again because I looked and felt like shit. I was actually wondering if someone could dehydrate from crying too much when I heard the door open. I tried to hide my face.

"Don't try hiding from us," I heard Alice say, "we know where you live."

I looked up to se Alice, Rose, and even Jake leaning against the sinks.

"I'm sorry, Bella." Rose said, looking incredibly upset with herself.

"Me too," I sighed, letting the tears stop, "I shouldn't have snapped at you. In my defense, though, these goddamned hormones are messing with my head."

"Let's start from the top, okay?" Alice said.

"Okay," I answered.

"First and foremost, OH MY GOD, I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNTIE!"

As the little alien launched herself toward me, all I could do was brace for impact. When her spiky blue hair was nestled into my chest and her arms wrapped around my torso, I let myself smile - genuinely - for the first time in a long time. When she finally let go, we went back to our table to find our food waiting. I was starving and dove right in.

Once I had some food in my belly, we talked some more. I told them about my fears, but also about my determination. Jake reassured me, as had Edward, that I was not my mother. Rose went a step further.

"I think I speak for everyone when I say that if you needed us to, we'd all cram onto a psychiatrist's couch with you if you asked us to. You have more than just Edward to lean on here, Bella. We're with every step of the way, okay?"

Nods all around. I was surprised but incredibly touched.

"We're not going to let you be afraid of anything," Rose continued. I wished with everything in my being that she was right.

_*****BB&B*****_

The first thing I noticed when I walked through the door was a heavenly smell. I knew immediately that Lydia was making one of her soups. When I lifted the ridiculous food embargo that Edward had issued years ago the first time Lydia tried to cook for him, she went to town with the cooking. Turned out she loved cooking but very rarely was able to cook for more than herself. She relished making all the traditional dishes that she normally only made for the holidays. I mean really, if the woman wanted to cook incredible food for us, who the hell were we to deny her?

When I walked into the kitchen, Lydia was standing at the stove, one hand on her hip, the other stirring something in a giant pot.

"Lydia, that smells amazing! What is it?"

"Is _Zupa Ogorkowa._" "In English?" I asked, hopefully. Sometimes she could translate, sometimes she couldn't.

"Is soup with pickles... no, is not right. Is pickle soup."

"Pickle soup? Really?"

"Yes. Is very, very traditional soup for womens when they are pregnant."

I stopped dead in my tracks. How did she know? _Did _she know?

"I find test in bin. Who you think clean bathrooms?" she said, amused at the shocked look on my face.

"Right, of course. We should have just told you, though."

"Is all right," she answered.

Standing in the kitchen, two women and a pot of soup, I realized something. I didn't have my own mother anymore, Sue was in Santa Fe (also, we hadn't told them, yet). I wasn't close to Edward's mother at all, but I did have Lydia, and Lydia was a mother three times over - four times, if you included Edward… five if you included me, too. I leaned on the island in the middle of the kitchen, watching her stir the soup and built up the courage to ask her what I needed to know the most.

"Lydia, how do you _be_a mother?" I asked somewhat awkwardly.

She stopped stirring, turned to face me and put the cover on the pot, askew. She wiped her hands on her apron and studied me for a moment.

"I think we need tea, yes? You sit."

I went to the table and sat, watching Lydia effortlessly float around the kitchen prepping our tea. When the steaming cup was placed in front of me, Lydia sat, a cup of tea for herself in her hands. After a few sips, she placed the cup down and looked at me.

"I think your real mother is gone, yes?"

"Yes, she left me almost ten years ago." I chuckled darkly at how touching that sounded before I spoke up again. "Actually, she committed suicide when I was twenty-two."

Lydia sighed deeply.

"Is so much sadness here. You, Edward, all the ghosts. So much sadness. This is why you and Edward find each other, I think."

"I think so, too," I said as I smiled a small smile.

"Bella, is no right way to be mother."

"That's it? No advice, nothing?"

"You make mistakes. You learn. You learn, then you know that when baby cry like this, is hungry. You know that when baby look like that, is tired."

"What if I can't learn? What if I make the same mistakes over and over? What if my baby hates me?"

"Is not possible. Bella, is not possible."

Hearing it from her, I could almost let myself believe it.

"Bella, you bring Edward to life again. You, only you. Before was sad and dark and angry. Not me, not Alice, nothing help Edward but you. Is because of your heart that Edward is strong again."

She placed her hand on my chest.

"You."

She pulled her hand back.

"Is so much love inside you and Edward. So much light now. Baby will be full of all this light. So you make mistakes. You learn."

"What if what happened to my mother happens to me?"

"I don't know why your mother go. But this does not matter. It does not matter, yes? What matter is you are here. You have love, you have family, and you make mistakes and you learn. You make mistake with Edward, and you learn. Your mother die, and you learn. Is most important that you not stop learning. Understand?"

Somewhat. I hadn't let the mistakes of my past stop me or kill me. I could have, though. I could have given up. Instead I moved forward, even if it was slowly.

"When baby comes, you will see how much love you have. You not understand how much you have in heart until you hold baby for first time. I know. You trust me, now."

With a wink of the eye and satisfied nod, she stood up and went to her pot on the stove.

"You want soup?"

All I could do was smile and nod yes. Soup seemed to be the final answer for any problem in Lydia's world.

**EPOV**

As I approached the kitchen, I could hear Bella's appreciative moans. I knew that moan; it was her food moan. It was the moan set aside for really good Dan Dan Noodles and Lydia's soups. Sure enough, when I stepped into the kitchen, Bella was inhaling a bowl of something steamy at the kitchen table.

"Smells good, what's on the menu?" I asked, making my presence known.

"Pickle soup. It's what pregnant Polish women eat," Bella stated between slurps.

"Pregnant?" I asked carefully, not sure if she had told Lydia and not wanting to step over any boundaries that she and I hadn't really discussed yet.

"Lydia knows, Edward. She cleans the bathrooms."

"Oh, right."

I threw Bella a look silently asking if that was okay. When she nodded and smiled, I let out a breath.

"You want soup, Edward?" Lydia asked.

"Sure, why not?"

I sat down at the table and was handed a bowl of soup that looked odd but smelled amazing. Not surprisingly, the herb-infused, salty and savory stuff was delicious, too.

"So, I told the gang at brunch today. Well, that's not entirely accurate. When I didn't join them in our regular routine of drinking with some food sprinkled in, they kind of figured it out."

"And?" I asked tentatively.

"I told them everything. About Renee, about my anxiousness, everything."

"How did they take it all?"

"Not so great, then amazingly," she said, a dazzling smile gracing her lips.

"They were wonderful about it all in the end, Edward. Alice is particularly thrilled about being an auntie. She almost crushed my ribs," she continued, laughing at the memory.

Laughing. Bella was laughing. It was the most wonderful sight. I hadn't seen her laugh with honesty for almost a week. It was an exquisite sight. A hopeful sight, too. I knew she still had her doubts, no matter how many times I told her she had nothing to worry about. I told her daily what an amazing mom I was sure she would be. Maybe, with a little help from friends, she could learn to believe it.

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><p><strong>AN**

**No, I've never had pickle soup. It is a real thing, though - it is a traditional Polish soup for pregnant women.I know it sounds odd, but the recipe actually looked nice. I'll have to try it once and report back you all. **

**Reviews are like friends who will go to the doctor with you no questions asked. Oh, and laughter.**


	4. Chapter 4: Grandparents

**Again, you people make me smile and glow with you story and author adds, and all of the favorites. The reviews are incredible and I read every single one. Please keep them coming! Just want to say one thing, though. If something upsets or angers you to the point where you feel the need to tell me I'm wrong about my own story and writing, I encourage you to write your own. Write a story the way you want it to go, with the kind of characters you want to see.**

**Smooches to HollettLA and DeJeanSmith. I am damn lucky to have these two on my side. Really, they make this story so, so, so much better! (Also, any mistakes are my own)**

**Also, sorry for the delay. New job is kicking my ass and I have less and less time to write. So from now on, lets say 1-2 weeks per update just so I don't feel guilty. **

**So, lets see what happens when the families are told, shall we?**

**I don't own, I just play.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4, Grandparents<strong>

**BPOV**

Since the Vogue article praising my and Rose's company, _Swan & Hale_, business had been insane. Insane in a good way, but insane nonetheless. We couldn't get the product out quickly enough. We were in high demand with not only the stylists and costume designers, but also the wealthy, rich, and trendy across the country. It was amazing and incredible, and we knew were blessed, but we were also overwhelmed.

Things were so busy that Rose and I each took on recent fashion school graduates and Alice hired an assistant to help lighten the load. Tia was Egyptian and had started her education in Antiquity Studies. She finished her schooling at the University of Cairo and became something of an expert on ancient Egyptian clothing. What dyes were used, what designs, what beads were included in the jewelry, the way they manipulated gold and precious stones and minerals. Somewhere in her study, she started making her own jewelry, trying to recreate the royal adornments she studied. She fell in love with the craft and came to New York to study it further. I was damn lucky to have found her. She had the most nimble fingers and brilliant understanding of proportion. I was particularly happy to have her, since I knew in the coming months I would be needing her more than ever.

When I told her, she was thrilled, but also immediately seemed to understand what it meant for her. She assured me that I didn't have to worry, that she could handle whatever craziness was sent her way. All I could do was hug her and cry... again. I was getting seriously tired of those damn tears. While finishing some details on my latest sketches, Edward called. It had been almost three weeks since we knew we were having a baby and we had yet to let either of families know. I don't know what I was waiting for, but as always, Edward gave me the push I needed.

"Hi, beautiful, busy?"

"Always, what's up?"

"We're leaving for Santa Fe tonight. I already called for the plane, and Sue is at the house airing it out."

"I can't just leave, Edward! There's too much to do!"

"Bella, you need a minute to breathe, and we need to tell Charlie and Sue. It's time, beautiful, and I think we owe it to them to tell in person."

"But, I'm busy," I whined.

"Give the phone to Tia, please."

Tia took the phone and started speaking with Edward. There were lots of nods, smiles, and reassurances. When she handed the phone back to me, she winked.

"What was that about?"

"I let Tia know that we would be gone for the week and that she would be holding down the fort without you."

"Oh. Okay." I said dumbly.

"Bella, can you tell me why you're so hesitant to go to Santa Fe and let Sue and Charlie know?"

Yes, I could. When Sue and Charlie finally knew, it would be completely real. I could almost fool myself into thinking that I would be waking up one day and things would be "normal" again. But as soon as Charlie and Sue knew they were going to grandparents, I knew that was it. No more fantasy, the baby was coming and there was nothing I could do about that.

"I'm just..." _you're just what,_I thought to myself. "I'm just nervous about letting people know before the end of the first trimester," I lied too easily.

That sounded normal right? If Edward saw through the lie, he didn't let on.

"Bella, if something happens to the baby before the first trimester, you're gong to want Sue with you. They deserve to know, Bella."

"Of course, you're right. What time is the car coming around?"

"Seven. Gives you a couple of hours to pack some things."

"Great. I'll see you later."

"Later. Hey, Bella?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

I smiled and my eyes began to water.

"I love you, too. So much."

I hung up and took some breaths, calming my nerves and hormones. When I had collected myself, I went back to work. As soon as I had finished prepping Tia and finalizing my sketches, I kissed Rose, Alice, and the others goodbye and left for home. After a bowl of soup with Lydia, I packed. Once ready, Edward and I left for the airport. By the time we landed, it was late and I was exhausted. Edward called Sue to let her know we would see them the following day for lunch and we made our way to our house.

As soon as we pulled up the driveway, I felt my shoulders drop and jaw unclench. Even though I lived in New York City, even though I called the big bad city my home, Santa Fe was where my heart was. The moment I stepped out of the car, I breathed in deep. Nothing smelled like the desert... sage, heat, dust. The night was so dark, the silence so quiet.

"I hope our child loves Santa Fe."

I said it without thinking. I said it without realizing. I think I stunned both of us. I hadn't spoken about the baby in a human way once. It was always "it" never "the baby." It was the first hope I had for my child, and I meant it wholeheartedly. I wanted the child to feel what I did for the magic of the desert.

"Of course the kid will love it here, it's in his blood."

I snorted.

"So is Boston, but I really hope our kid had better taste than that," I joked.

Again, it came out without my knowing it. It was such a light moment. When Edward pulled me into a hug, I knew he felt it, too. When we broke apart, we made our way hand-in-hand to the house. Sue had left the hall light on and opened some windows. As Edward grabbed our bags, I went through the house flicking on the lights as I went. I loved that house so much. I felt more like myself there than anyplace else. I didn't know how Edward knew I needed it, but he did know, and I was grateful.

I woke up with the sun the next morning. I wrapped the blanket from the foot of the bed around me and crept out the French doors in our bedroom to the cool, brisk morning. I watched the sky come to life. I watched as the desert bloomed in the morning light. I felt a peace and calm that I hadn't in some time and, as if it was a very hot surface, I carefully touched my belly, testing it out. There was something growing in there. There was a tiny thing forming inside of me. It was hard to imagine, but it was there.

That was the first time I spoke to my stomach, the first time I spoke to my child.

"Good morning," I said lamely as if I were expecting a response back. Was insanity part of the pregnancy package along with binging on junk food and crying at the drop of a hat?

Edward found me in a chair on the patio, looking out at the desert, wrapped in a blanket.

"How long have you been here?"

"I watched the sunrise."

"How was it?"

"Beautiful."

"Good. You hungry?"

"Of course I am."

"Let's see what Sue left for us."

It was an unwritten rule that Sue would stock our fridge for us before we arrived. There was always something yummy waiting for us in there. We found fresh sage and pork breakfasts sausages from the local butcher, eggs, and blue corn muffins. We fixed breakfast together, took showers, and got dressed. Before we left for Sue and Charlie's, we called and let them know we were on our way.

Twenty minutes later, we arrived. As we were getting out of the car, Charlie opened the door, his arms wide open. I walked over and let myself be engulfed in my daddy's arms. I did a piss-poor job of keeping the tears at bay.

"Hey, now. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I sniveled, "just glad to see you."

"Glad to see you too, Bells. Why don't you go see Sue, huh? She's in the kitchen, of course."

I nodded and stepped away from him. I wiped my face, gulped some air and lifted my head high before walking into the kitchen. Sue's back was to me, she was chopping something up. I took in the scene and the smells for a second before making my presence known.

"Hey, Sue!" I said cheerily.

She turned and stared at me. Then, out of nowhere, she squealed at the top of her lungs. Charlie and Edward came running, obviously scared that someone had hurt themselves. As soon as they were there, Sue spoke.

"Oh my God, you're pregnant!" She yelled before running around to me and pulling me into her, bouncing as she hugged.

As I was trapped in the vice of her arms, I could hear Charlie ask Edward if it was true.

"Yup, we're having a baby," Edward said proudly.

"Congratulations, man."

"Congratulations, Grandpa," Edward said, a smile in his voice.

Charlie had made some very grand efforts to apologize to Edward. When I realized I had handled Edward's truths badly, so did Charlie. He called Edward up and apologized as sincerely as he could. Edward was reluctant to forgive everything, though. In the end, it was "the Father defense" that Edward gave into. Not as a cop-out or as an excuse at all, but rather, as fact. He said to Edward, "When you're a father, you'll understand. And if you have a daughter, you'll know that you'd do anything, even hurt an innocent man, to protect her." That day was fast approaching.

"Shit. Grandpa. Hell, I guess I earned it. Grandpa..." Charlie said, trailing off.

I could hear the men walking away. Minutes later, Sue finally let go.

"I am so thrilled for you two!"

"Thanks, Sue," I said softly, hopefully not giving away too much in my voice.

"You must be hungry then," she said, beaming.

"I am ALWAYS hungry. Sue, I'm going to gain sixty pounds I just know it."

"Oh hush, who cares. Indulge, when the hell will it ever be okay to eat a pint of ice cream and a bag of Doritos at the same time in your adult life? Never, that's when."

"You're right. Bring it on, what's for lunch?"

**EPOV**

After lunch, Bella was ready for a nap. She ate like a trooper... she ate for two. On the way back to the house, I decided that it was time to bring up marriage again. I was hoping that she would start seeing the light. If not for herself, then for our child. What if something happened to Bella? What if something stupid like a last name kept Bella from me. What if we were traveling someplace, and the fact that we weren't related became an issue? Four hundred other _what if's_plagued me.

But while driving back to our house, I was sidetracked by a question.

"Edward, have you told your parents, yet?"

"No. I was waiting until we told yours first."

"Then its time, right? We should. Maybe after my nap?"

"Sure, beautiful. After your nap."

_Then_, I thought to myself, _we'll tackle something heavier_.

Once Bella had woken up, I dialed my parents number and put the phone on speaker.

"Hello?" my mother answered.

"Hi, Mom."

"Hello, dear, am I on speaker phone?"

"Yes, Bella is here, too."

"Hello, Esme."

"Bella, how are you?"

They had only met briefly at Alice's wedding, my parents and Bella. But Bella and my mother had started speaking on the phone and were becoming friends.

"We're good Mom. Is Dad there?"

"Yes, shall I get him?"

"Please." I answered.

A few moments later, "Bella, Edward, how are you two?"

I looked to Bella and smirked.

"We're good, Dad. We're great, actually."

"Oh?" my father inquired.

"Well, yes. Actually, that's why we're calling. Do you want to tell them?" I prompted Bella.

She shook her head no.

"Okay. Mom, Dad, you're going to be grandparents."

Silence. Dead fucking silence.

Bella and I looked to each other, then to the phone, as if magically that would make someone speak. Finally, Bella broke the silence.

"Esme, Carlisle, are you two alright?"

"Edward, did we hear you correctly? You and Bella are having a baby?"

"Yes. We are. Is something wrong?"

Just then I heard my mother sniffle and hiccup.

"Dad, is Mom okay? Is she... crying?"

"Edward, it's just..." But he was cut-off by my mother.

"Oh, Edward!" She wailed. "I never thought..."

Then more sniffles and hiccups.

"I never thought this would happen for you. I'm so... I'm so..."

"You're so?" Bella nudged.

"Ha-ha-ha-happyyyyyyyyyyy!"

I shook my head. I forgot how similar my mother and Alice could be.

"Thank you, Esme. Will you be okay?" Bella asked.

"Oh my dears, I'm going to be a Grandmother! I'm more than okay! You've made your mother very happy, Edward."

"What about you, Dad?"

My relationship with my father was on the mend. Slowly but surely we spoke more, and not just about stocks and bonds.

"I never thought this was possible for you after... well, after. I'm so proud of you. Both of you."

"Thank you, Carlisle," Bella answered.

"Maybe its time we visited, hmmm, Bella?" my father asked.

"Yes, I'd like that."

"Well I'll let you and Esme work that out, then."

"Oh yes! Bella, we must start planning the nursery! I can see it now. Oh Bella, you've made an old woman very happy."

"You're welcome, but your hardly old."

"Oh now, flattery will get you everywhere, darling."

A few more niceties were shared then the promise to plan a visit. When I hung up, Bella hugged me.

"He's proud of you, Edward," she said sincerely.

"I think," I said, squeezing her a little tighter, "he said he was proud of _us_, beautiful. "

"Us." She repeated. "I love the sound of that."

"Speaking of us, beautiful. There's something I want to talk to you about. Something that's been weighing heavily on my shoulders, especially since we found out you were pregnant."

"What do you want for dinner?" Bella asked, completely ignoring me.

"Bella, no. Please speak with me."

"We could order in or..."

"Bella, enough. This is serious."

"I don't want to get married, Edward." She blurted out.

"This isn't about you and me anymore, we have someone else we need to think about."

"This isn't Victorian-era England. Do you have any idea how many perfectly functioning families don't have married parents?"

"How many of those families have fathers who can't leave the house because of a deformity?"

She was silent.

"Listen. Our child is going to have the best of everything and all the comfort they could ever hope for. But Bella, none of that is going to change the fact he or she won't have a normal childhood. I can't go on school outings, we can't go to Disneyland and take our pictures with Mickey Mouse, I'll have to sneak into the back of every recital after it's started, so as not to take attention away from the kids. Every parent-teacher conference will have to be booked after all the others so that I can avoid crowds. I don't even want to think about what's going to happen for birthday parties and play dates and sleepovers. I haven't even tackled that mess in my own head, yet. But this is something that can be normal Bella. This is something we can give our child without fear or compromise."

"What's normal? Edward, look at us. We're both weird. We're both off. So why do we have to start being normal now?" Bella said as she threw her hands in the air.

"Why do you keep resisting this?" I accented my own frustration by stomping to the nearest wall and punching it. Hurt like a fucker, too.

"Why do you keep insisting?"

"Stop avoiding my questions!" I answered hotly.

"Then stop pushing your agenda!" She snapped back.

"Christ you can be so fucking selfish sometimes, you know that?" I was unbelievably aggravated.

"Selfish? Do you know that the only reason and I mean the ONLY reason I'm going through with this pregnancy is because of you? Because it's what you deserve? Not me, you! Don't you talk to me about selfish," she seethed.

I was instantly deflated.

"You don't mean that, do you?" I asked quietly.

Her huffing calmed and her face relaxed. She looked panicked and sad all at the same time.

"I... I don't know."

She looked to the floor and dropped her shoulders.

"Bella…" I started, but I didn't really have anything to say.

When she started walking away from me, I let her. I didn't know what to think. So, she didn't want the baby. She was putting on a show - a half-assed show at that - for me, and only me, because I "deserved" it. Before I could reason through all that though, I heard her heaving. Out of guilt, pain, or compassion, I went to her. She was kneeling over the toilet in the hall bathroom. Her back was to me and I could see every muscle clench as she vomited. I sat down behind her and rubbed her back.

When her body finally relaxed, I could hear her crying.

"Shhh. Please don't cry."

"I can't help it," she answered pathetically.

I didn't really know what to say or do, but it was obvious that the combination of the pregnancy, the secrets she was keeping, and our tiff was exhausting for her. They were suddenly tiring for me, too. I stood up, wet a washcloth under the faucet and rung it out before handing it to her. Once she was finished cleaning up, I put my hand out to her. She took it and looked up at me.

Why hadn't I realized how dark the circles were under eyes?

"I think you could use a bath."

She snorted.

"Lydia's answer to everything is soup, yours is baths."

"Yup, my mother's is decorating, Alice's is shopping, and yours is ice cream."

"And running away. Don't forget that one." She retorted flippantly.

"You're not running now," I answered seriously.

She looked at me, shocked.

"So just ice cream, then," I said at her surprised expression.

"I'm not running," she said, to herself more than me.

I smiled and led her to the master suite where the big bathtub was.

"I'll start the bath. Why don't you get undressed?"

"Will you join me?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes."

"Then, yes, I'll join you."

Once the bath was ready, I stripped, stepped into the tub first then beckoned her to join me. She took off her robe, and I watched in rapt fascination as the silk slipped from her body. We hadn't looked at each other, really looked, since we found out we were having a baby. Her full hips, heavy breasts and soft pale skin looked like something out of a painting. If I had any artistic talent at all, I would have yelled for her to stay still so I could capture her. Instead, she grabbed a hair stick from the vanity and pulled her hair up.

"I haven't told you how beautiful you are recently."

"Don't be silly, Edward."

"I'm quite serious, you really are so, so beautiful."

She actually blushed. I hadn't seen her blush in a very long time.

"Stunning," I said as she walked toward me.

Carefully, she stepped into the tub then lowered herself down. When she was sitting, she scooted back until her body was pressed flush against mine. I groaned. I loved the feeling of her weight against me. I loved knowing that the tattoo on her back was pressed against its twin on my chest. Mostly, I just loved being that close with her again.

"I've missed you so much, Edward," she said as she arched her back slightly.

I let out a soft grunt.

"Touch me?" she asked.

I nodded even though she couldn't see me and reached my hand around to her breast. I hovered above her body for only a moment before I let myself graze her nipple with my fingers. We both shivered despite the hot water.

"Again," she said shakily.

Gently, I squeezed her nipple between my thumb and forefinger. She let out a long "ahhhhhh". Maybe what we needed wasn't talking or discussions or even fights. Maybe what we needed was to reconnect. I wanted her to remember that this baby was us, half of each, and not just my property alone. We made the miracle together, and we would love it together too. I planned on reminding her how amazing we could be together.

"Scoot up a bit, more." I whispered into her ear.

As soon as she was far enough up, I reached around her body and found her clit. I was rewarded with gentle moans and her ass rubbing against my dick. As she came for me, her legs shook and her breath was ragged.

"Come with me to the bed, beautiful."

We climbed out of the tub carefully and walked to the bed, not bothering to dry ourselves off. Fully erect and ready to bury myself inside her, I watched as Bella crawled on the bed, spread her legs, and welcomed me to her. The first exquisite push into her body found us sighing in relief. _Yes_, I thought, _this is what we need_. As I ground myself into her body, pressing my pelvis as far as it would go, she closed her eyes, dropped her jaw, and sucked in the air around her.

We were slow and deliberate. She came, and then so did I. Refusing to pull away, I stayed inside of her until I was hard again. When we both came a second time, she did so silently, her voice hushed from our lovemaking. It was dark. I gathered in my arms, pulled the covers over us, and we fell asleep, blissfully unaware of the world around us.

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><p><strong>AN**

**Awwww. They needed that.**

**More fun *cue cheeky laugh* ahead.**

**Reviews are like soup, decorating, ice cream, shopping, and baths rolled into one!**


	5. Chapter 5, Tiny Dancer

**I'm so glad you guys are still with me here. I know Bella's reaction has been confusing to some of you, so I hope this chapter helps. Also, thanks as always for all of your words and reviews - it really means a great deal to me.**

**HollettLA and DeJeanSmith are incredible. I don't think I can properly portray how much of a difference these two make in this story. Your time, energy, and thoughtfulness are amazing and I thank you so, so much. Any mistakes are my own. **

**_Glupi idota_ = Stupid idiot in Polish**

**I don't own, I just play. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 5, Tiny Dancer<strong>

**BPOV**

I was nearing the end of my first trimester. The nausea had subsided, but my constant cravings hadn't. All I had wanted for the past weeks were Muenster cheese and tomato sandwiches with chocolate milk. I was happily munching away at my favorite snack in the dining room with Edward when we heard the crash. We looked at each other, confused. When we heard the second crash, though, we both shot up.

"Kitchen?" he asked, concerned.

I nodded my head.

Edward ran toward the sound quicker than I could. When I finally walked through the kitchen door, I gasped. There, on the floor, was Lydia… and she wasn't moving. A collection of broken dishes lay to her right. A spilled pot of steaming soup lay to her left; her arm was covered in the stuff. The soup pot was resting on her legs. Edward was leaning over her, his knees in the broken porcelain on the ground.

"911, Bella, quickly!"

I made the call to 911, told them what was happening, then immediately called Paul, our driver, to come and help us. Edward, meanwhile, had his head to Lydia's face listening and feeling for any air escaping her lips. When Paul arrived, he pushed Edward away and started CPR. The EMTs showed up mere minutes later. Within seconds, they had her head stabilized and had her strapped to a gurney. After asking us some basic questions, they left the apartment.

"What hospital?" Edward yelled at the EMTs as they rolled Lydia out of the apartment.

"St. Luke's" came the distant reply.

"Come on, I can get us there in minutes," Paul said as he made his way to the elevator.

I grabbed my bag and was ready to go as Edward came rushing toward us, zipping on a hoodie. As we made our way down in the elevator, he pulled the hood over his head and tied the thing tight, covering as much of his face as he could. We could hear the ambulance making its way down the street as we rushed into the car. It was fifteen minutes later when we made it to the emergency room. I ran up to the woman behind the desk.

"An older woman was just rushed in, she was unconscious."

"Do you have a name, please?" she asked, pleasantly enough.

"Lydia Ossowski."

"Wait just a moment."

That "moment" was one of the longest in my life. I looked over my shoulder. Both Edward and Paul were standing by the wall. Edward had his back to the room, trying to stay hidden.

"Miss?"

"Yes?"

"I don't know much yet, but it looks Ms. Ossowski had a heart attack. She's with the doctors right now."

"Is she conscious?"

"Are you family?"

Yes! Everything in my body was screaming for me to say, "Yes." But we weren't and there were simply too many things we didn't know about Lydia to claim that we were.

"No, I'm... I'm her employer." It sounded cheap and insignificant, even to my own ears.

"I'm afraid there isn't very much I can tell you without a family member here."

"But, she's important! Please, we need to know!" I couldn't help the tears from falling.

The nurse finally relented. "All I know is that the doctors think she's had a heart attack. Do you know how old she is?"

I looked over to Paul, who was looking at me. I mouthed, "How old?" to him to relay to Edward. I could see Edward shrug after Paul asked him.

"I'm not really sure, in her mid-sixties, I think." I said, sniveling.

"Okay. Do you have any way of getting a hold of family?"

"Yes, yes, of course!" I said enthusiastically, just happy that I could something.

The nurse gave me a sympathetic smile and handed me a tissue from behind the desk.

"I'll keep you posted with as much as I can, miss..."

"Bella, please just call me Bella."

"All right then, Bella. Listen, it's not strictly allowed, but I can put you in the family waiting area."

All I could do was nod, I was so overwhelmed. As we made our way to the small, almost private, waiting room, I pulled out my phone. Once inside the relative calm of the new waiting room, any semblance I had of control disintegrated and any hopes I had of making a call were dashed by my blubbering. Instead I handed the phone to Paul and asked him to call Katie, Lydia's niece-in-law, while Edward hugged me.

"Shhh, shhh, she's going to be okay."

I didn't have the best track record when it came to mothers, though. And more than anything, Lydia felt like a mother just then. Why, oh, why, hadn't I lied and told them we were related? All I saw in my head were ashes. I could see them floating on the desert breeze and landing willy-nilly on the red earth. Edward's arms suddenly turned into my father's arms. I was wearing the same black linen dress I had so many years ago. There was a button missing near the bottom making the slit a little higher than I wanted it to be. I remembered fussing over it and eventually yelling at Sue because she told me to ignore it, that it was time to leave for the hills for the ceremony.

"Bella, come back to me, please." I heard a familiar voice plead.

"I should have said we were family, Edward. She is, you know."

"I know. I know too well."

"Oh, Edward, what are we going to do?"

"We're going to get her the best damn doctors we can find, and we're going to make sure that she's back on her feet in no time."

"I called Katie. She and Maria are on the way," Paul said beside us.

Maria was Lydia's eldest child; that much I knew. Katie was at the DMV, of all places, that day. She needed her damn thing renewed and also wanted to change her address from New Jersey to Lydia's place near our apartment, where she was living full-time. Time just dragged on. We saw the nice nurse only once again. She came into to let us know that they were still "working on her." We had been sitting there for almost three hours when Katie came rushing with who I knew had to be Maria, Lydia's daughter. She had Lydia's perfect skin and all-knowing hazel eyes. Edward, Paul and I all stood to greet them.

"Have you heard anything?" Maria asked me.

"Only that they're still working on her. They..." I started to lose it again. "They wouldn't tell us anything because we're not family," I said, breaking into tears again.

"_Glupi idiota_!" she said angrily in Polish before pulling me into her arms.

"I should be comforting you," I said pathetically over Maria's shoulder.

"We're in this together. She thinks of you as family. Who am I to argue with the woman?"

When I felt Maria shaking in my arms, I squeezed a little tighter. Soon, Katie was hugging us, too. Once we had calmed a bit, we pulled apart. Maria went to Edward and spoke with him while Katie and I held hands and sat next to each other. Thirty or so minutes later, we heard a gaggle of people in the hallway. The nice nurse turned the corner, followed by what must have been twenty people of various ages. Those eyes and that skin couldn't be denied, though. There was one man who I was sure was Lydia's youngest son, Oskar. He was holding the hand of a pretty young woman, still in her nurse's scrubs. The police officer I assumed was her middle child, Feliks. The rest I could only guess were various other family members and friends.

I looked to Edward. I was afraid he would be overwhelmed or afraid of exposing himself. But instead, his hood was down and he stood stoically - if not a little stiffly - as the crowd engulfed the small waiting room. Maria let everyone know what we knew, which was next to nothing. She introduced Edward and me, and even Paul who had refused to leave. Soon enough, we were being kissed and hugged by Lydia's family. None of them so much as flinched because of Edward. When the doctor finally showed up, Edward and Feliks looked up from their conversation just as Maria, Katie, Oskar and his wife, Gloria, looked up from ours.

"Who can I speak with in regard to Mrs. Lydia Ossowski?"

Everyone stood up, including us.

"Let me try this again. Are Mrs. Ossowski's husband or children here?"

Feliks, Maria, and Oskar raised their hands.

"Can I please speak with you?"

Solemnly, they made their way toward the doctor then all four disappeared around the corner. Silence settled over all of us. Sitting there, I felt Edward's large, rough hand find mine. Although he didn't show it like I did, I knew he was just as upset and scared as everyone there. I touched my belly and let my fingers spread over my stomach.

"Do you need something?" Edward asked me softly.

I shook my head no, even though I was thirsty.

"Let me get you some water."

"I can get it," I said, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable walking around the hospital.

"Why don't I get?" suggested Paul to our left.

Before we could protest, he had gotten up and walked out of the waiting room. I hadn't noticed that I was rubbing my stomach until Edward mentioned it.

"You've been doing that a lot since we came back from Santa Fe."

"Doing what?" I asked.

"Rubbing your stomach."

"I have?"

"Yes."

"No, I haven't."

"I'll do you one better, you've been speaking to your tummy, too."

"Oh, please..." I started, but then stopped and thought.

He was right. I said good morning to my belly every morning - every day since Santa Fe. Was it more than that, though? Was I speaking to the bundle in my belly more than I thought?

"When you're watching TV at night, you rub it. I've heard you humming in the bathtub, too."

"Humming in the bathtub?" I said, memories threatening to flood my brain.

"Yes, it's sweet, actually."

"What have I been humming?" I asked in a daze... I already knew the answer, though.

And as he said, "I'm pretty sure it's Elton John's 'Tiny Dancer'," I mouthed the name of the song with him.

"Bella? What's wrong you look pale all of a sudden."

"I'm fine, its nothing."

Before he could hound me, though, Maria and her brothers walked back into the room. If I looked pale, they looked positively ghostly. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. Oskar and Feliks were holding Maria up. Everyone stood. You could hear a pin drop. As soon as Maria was seated, Feliks spoke.

"Mama isn't well."

That was all he said. It was all he had to say. It didn't matter what she wasn't well with, she was suffering from more than a heart attack and it was serious.

"Edward, would you please go offer them our spare rooms for as long as they need them?" I said robotically.

"Yes, of course… of course. Good idea." he said solemnly, before walking over to the three siblings.

My hand found its way to my tummy again. As my fingers splayed wide across the expanse, I rubbed gently. It calmed me, comforted me.

"Now what, tiny one?" I asked as I looked to my hand over my stomach. "What do we do now?" I was perfectly aware that I was speaking to the life in my stomach. And, as if I wasn't overwhelmed enough, I realized that I had been speaking to my child for months, looking for responses to questions that no one could answer.

**EPOV**

Maria took us up on our offer. They were going to move Lydia to a hospital in New Jersey as soon as they could but, for the time being, Maria would stay with us. Everyone handled pain differently; Maria's coping mechanism seemed to be frustration. That night she dabbed her pizza furiously with paper towel after paper towel, never seeming to get it just right. Through her jagged actions, bits of information slipped out about her mother. She needed to vent and we were there for her. After all, she couldn't find two people more used to sadness then us.

"She never took care of herself. Never!"

Dab-dab-dab.

"I mean really, a woman her age, living the life she lived."

She took a bite, huffed, and then went back to her dabbing.

"It's been _years_since she had a check-up with her doctor. Years! Did she listen to me? Noooo."

She took another bite, seemed satisfied, and then took another.

"I told her at sixty-five, then sixty-six, then sixty-eight. I begged her! I thought for sure after her seventieth I could convince her, but nooooo."

"Maria, Lydia is seventy years old?" I couldn't help but interrupt her rant. I was shocked!

"No, of course she isn't." Maria huffed.

I let out breath. Thank God!

"She's seventy-three."

"WHAT!" Bella and I exclaimed at the same time.

"Yes. Didn't you know? How old did she say she was?"

"She never did say," I said, utterly surprised. "I just assumed. I thought she was in her early sixties at the most, but seventy-three? I would have never let her work so much, or at all had I known, Maria. I hope you know that?"

"Edward, she loved working here and taking care of you, and then you and Bella. Even if you had known and told her she should stop working so much, it wouldn't have mattered. She would have shown up Monday morning and put in even _more_hours. If she wasn't working, or moving, or doing something, anything, she went nuts!"

"When was the last time she saw a doctor?" Bella asked.

"I can't remember. She's as healthy as a woman half her age... well, at least we all thought so. I kept telling her that all her years of work and looking after other people was going to catch up with her, but she never listened. And now? They think she has some kind of cancer and it's serious. Really, really serious. And what are the odds that a woman her age is going to simply shake this off and come out healthy the other side?"

Maria had worked herself up to a state. Her face was red, her breaths were short and clipped, and she looked on the verge of tears. Bella's arms were around her in a second. As she held onto Maria, Maria seemed to calm a bit. When Bella pulled away, she took Maria's hand and said, "I think you need a good night's sleep. Let me show you the guest room, okay? I'm sure I have something you can sleep in. There are towels and all that good stuff already in there."

"Sleep sounds perfect, thank you. Both of you. You've been wonderful. To Mama, too."

I tried not to get too choked up. That woman saved me when no one else could. The very least I could do was put her daughter up in a time of need. Before Bella and Maria had made it out of the kitchen, I stopped them.

"Maria?"

She turned.

"You have to let me know if there's anything I can do. I mean anything. I can get the best doctors, the best hospitals, anything you need. If you need help with bills or need the apartment or anything. Just promise me you'll let me know, okay?"

She nodded, and Bella looked a little misty-eyed as she smiled softly. A moment later, they had gone, and I was left to clean up the greasy pizza. When I got back to the bedroom, Bella was humming as she pulled on her nightgown. I knew the tune - it was the song she had been humming for months. I hadn't mentioned anything until then. It was a private moment she shared with our child. Even if she was unaware of it, somewhere deep down, she knew. I didn't want to ruin their quiet moment.

I got undressed and took a shower, scrubbing the hospital off of me. As I dried off and brushed my teeth, I realized how quiet it was in the bedroom. Normally Bella would have the TV on. After stepping into a pair of boxers, I walked into the bedroom. Bella was standing in from the French doors, just looking out at the city.

"Do you know what kept going through my head while we were in that waiting room?" Bella began.

"No."

"I kept thinking, what if it was you? What if you were in the emergency room being worked on by doctors, and I couldn't see you or even get any information about you because we're not related? Do you have any idea how horrific that would be?"

I did. I thought about it almost daily.

"What if something happened, and you couldn't get in to see us?" she continued.

I knew immediately who she meant by "us." She meant her and the baby.

"Then I thought about something you said months ago. We were in Santa Fe, and we had that fight about getting married. Afterward, I told you that your answer to everything was baths?"

"Yes, and I told you your answer to everything was ice cream."

"But I added something else, too. Do you remember?"

I hadn't forgotten. Not at all.

"You said ice cream and running away," I answered, as if the mere words tasted bitter.

"Then you said, 'your not running away now'."

"And you're still not."

"Not physically, anyway." She said cryptically.

"I don't understand."

Bella turned around, walked to the bed and sat down. She was eerily still, as if her entire body was holding in a breath. As she stared off into nothing, she started talking.

"You're braver than I'll ever be Edward. Maybe that's because so much was taken from you, that when opportunities come, you grab them. When my mother left me, everything became scary. I ran away from home because I was scared of her memory. I didn't make friends because what would happen if they left, or died, or just decided they didn't like me anymore? I resisted every good thing that came my way because I was afraid of how fickle life is and how easy it is to lose the things you love."

"Bella..."

"Please let me finish," she asked, finally looking at me. "Then one day, I was tired of the fear. I said yes to people. I changed the way I looked and, for the first time in my entire life, I fought for something. I fought for you. As soon as I had you though, what did I do? I got scared and found a way to ruin us."

"But you didn't."

"No. An angel named Lydia came and forced me to see the truth. Then things were great, right?"

"Things are still great, Bella." I reminded her.

She smiled a sad little smile and shook her head, gently.

"No, they're not. I may not be running out that door right now, but I'm still that same scared girl who left her home all those years ago."

I sat next to her on the bed and took her hand.

"Bella, beautiful, you need to tell me what you mean."

"I've been speaking and singing to the baby for months now, haven't I?"

Her eyes questioned mine, needing an answer.

"Yes."

"I was so wrapped up in my own stupid fears that I didn't even realize it."

"What fears, Bella? Tell me please," I begged.

Bella shifted suddenly as if uncomfortable.

"What happens if we lose this child?"

"You mean a miscarriage?"

"That and a million other things. What if it dies in its sleep? What if it gets on the balcony and falls off? What if we find the wrong babysitter, and she shakes the kid to make it shut up, but kills it instead. What if I fall in love with it just to lose it?"

The fear and sadness in her face nearly crushed me. All I wanted to do was wrap her in my arms and tell her it would all be okay. But I couldn't promise her that, and it was unfair to lie.

"I don't know. But why would you deny yourself this gift all over a collection of what ifs? What ifs that you can't control, by the way. Bella, people die. People get sick. People come out of horrible fires mutilated and forever changed. There isn't a damn thing we can do about it."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" she asked, horrified, her eyes wide.

"Well... yes! Bella, if it meant never having to go through the pain of losing her, would you rather you never knew your mother? Would you rather that you never had tea parties with her? Or painted her apartment some awful color for the tenth time? Would you have rather had an ice cream cake like every other kid on the block, or one of your mother's awful vegan inventions? Would you trade all of that love and those memories for a life without pain?"

"No," she answered immediately.

"Exactly, no. And if you think for one second that I would take back getting on that infernal yacht if it meant never loving you, then you're insane."

"Do you mean that?"

"Do you mean everything in regards to your mother?"

We sat there in silence. Her right hand was in mine, but her left found its way to her stomach, and she started humming "Tiny Dancer" again. I couldn't help it and started humming along with her. She looked startled, and then stopped.

"I was doing it again, wasn't I?"

"Yes. Why 'Tiny Dancer?'"

She looked down at her hand on her stomach before looking back up to me.

"It was the song my mother sang to me before I went to bed."

She smiled, remembering something, and then continued.

"She hated normal lullabies. She said they were wimpy and insipid. 'Tiny Dancer' was her favorite song. She wasn't an incredible singer, but her voice was sweet and soft, and she sang that song like she meant it every single time. When I was scared or worked up about something, all she had to do was start humming it, and I would calm down. The first time I heard Elton John sing it, I was furious!" She laughed. "I was so angry that this guy on the radio had stolen my mother's song! I ran to her, crying, and yelled that someone had taken her song away. After she explained to me that it was really Elton's song, I was furious all over again that she had stolen it from him!"

I could see her, too. A tiny little Bella, red in the face, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Edward, I'm still afraid, I think it's going to take more than one talk to fix that."

"I get that, Bella. But you know how many people have got your back, right? The baby's back for that matter, too. And don't worry about hospitals and not being able to see me if something happens, okay? We'll work it out. We'll always work it out. I can promise you that much, beautiful."

She was smiling her wonderful smile again. She squeezed my hand. We hadn't worked out everything, but it was a start. I meant what I said, too. I couldn't promise her that tragedy wouldn't strike, but I could promise her that no matter what, we would fix it… together. Her smile grew as we sat there - her hand in mine, her other over the baby.

"What? What is it?" I finally asked, desperate to know what was going on in her head.

"Edward?" she asked innocently enough, that precious smile still on her lips.

"Yes, Bella?" I answered back, also innocently, my own smile growing.

"Marry me?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**I know you all hate me right now. Believe me I get it. I hate cliffies as much as the next person. That being said... it was a good one, right? **

**I also know you hate me for what's happening to Lydia. I'm sorry about that, too, but I have a plan. I can only hope you continue to trust me. **

**What was your lullaby growing up? Mine was The Beatles' "Hey Jude."**

**Reviews are like surprise marriage proposals... eye opening. **


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